40 Things I’ve learnt since 40

-01-

A beautiful home has very little to do with money and everything to do with atmosphere. I’ve walked into tiny homes that felt extraordinary and giant homes that felt cold.

-02-

Cool white light bulbs are for hospitals and morgues. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Warm lighting changes absolutely everything about how a home feels. I will die on this hill. In fact, I quietly judge people on this alone.

-03-

I’ve come to realise, an accept, that the true art of being a great host is looking relaxed and calm while internally fighting for your life.

-05-

Not every battle needs to be fought. Not every battle needs to be won. There is something incredibly powerful about understanding yourself deeply enough, including your shadow side, that you no longer feel the need to react to every trigger standing in front of you.

-06-

Therapy is not for broken people. To me, it’s one of the highest forms of self-awareness. It’s for people brave enough to become more conscious, more accountable, more emotionally intelligent and more free. I actually think it’s one of the biggest forms of levelling up available to us.

-07-

Births and deaths are the great dividers of a life. Everything else somehow arranges itself around them. I mean, obvious right? But I do love how black and white it feels to me in a world of grey.

-08-

I understood very little about life until I lost someone I loved deeply. Grief reshapes your understanding of almost everything. Life before and life after become two entirely different countries.

-09-

I think who you surround yourself with quietly shapes your entire life. The conversations you tolerate become the quality of your inner world.

-10-

Travel with the people you love. A weekend away together is one of the richest luxuries on earth. One day you would give absolutely anything to relive an ordinary moment you barely noticed at the time.

-11-

I used to think maturity was saying exactly what you think. I now think maturity is knowing which conversations no longer require your participation.

-12-

At the same time, I think we’ve become too quick to cut people off simply because they think differently to us. Some of the most important growth in life comes from learning how to sit across from someone with different views and learning something from them.

-13-

Loss brings you frighteningly close to the thin veil between the life we perform every day and the raw truth of what life actually is. In those moments, the veil feels almost transparent.

-14-

Kindness is still the greatest quality a person can possess. There’s a line from The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse that says, “Kindness sits quietly beyond all things.” I think about that often. In a world obsessed with being impressive, I still think the kindest people are the most powerful people in the room.

-15-

I think peace is one of the most underrated forms of wealth. A calm home. A regulated nervous system. A partner you can laugh with. Food in the fridge. A few good friends. Enough. We spend so much of our lives chasing more that we forget the real flex is being able to exhale.

-16-

I think some of the best parenting happens during play. Not the big serious sit-down moments we think will shape our children forever. It’s kicking a ball outside. Playing cards. Children open themselves during play in ways they don’t during pressure. And if you're like me, I battle a lot to "play" but have realised the huge importance of learning how.

-17-

Don't let perfection steal your joy! I once planned a “perfect” Christmas so obsessively that I became an absolute maniac on decorating day. I think I cried. Somewhere between trying to create magic and controlling every detail, I forgot Christmas is actually for children. I vowed never again and the tree will be filled with popcorn garlands and chaos. I promise....no really!

-18-

The older I get, the more I understand gardening. And why older people become obsessed with birds. OMG I love a bird! There is something deeply regulating about noticing small things growing quietly around you. Watching seasons shift. Seeing what returns. Caring for something slowly over time. I used to think it was boredom. I now think it might actually be wisdom.

-19-

Read. I genuinely think we are entering a crisis of non-readers. I speak to younger people sometimes about current affairs, history, culture or even basic general knowledge and I’m often shocked by how narrow their worlds have become. Reading stretches your thinking. It builds imagination, vocabulary, and attention span. I think books make people more emotionally developed.

-20-

Children do not need perfect parents. They need regulated ones.

-21-

Your children are watching how you speak to yourself. That one will humble you quickly.

-22-

I think beautiful things matter because they make people feel something.

-23-

Some recipes become part of a family’s identity. Ours is melanzane pizza. It’s requested constantly at Grandma's house, perfected, remembered. The smell of it cooking instantly feels like a hug. I think every family should have a few recipes stitched into the fabric of their life together.

-24-

Tennis may actually be marriage therapy. Padel is financially aggressive these days, but charging around a tennis court laughing, competing and trash talking each other is genuinely some of the best time my husband and I spend together.

-25 -

I think social media has distorted what normal life looks like. Most people are posting highlights, not reality. That “perfect family Christmas” may very well have happened alongside tension, anxiety or tears five minutes earlier. Never compare your entire life to somebody else’s curated square.

-27-

Creativity disappears when life becomes too noisy. I used to think creativity came from discipline alone, but I actually think it comes more from space. It needs to feel like play.

-28-

Working late is fine sometimes. But make sure at least some of that effort is building your own dream and not only somebody else’s.

-29-

Prioritise something for yourself as though your life depends on it. Because in many ways, your spirit probably does. Something that belongs entirely to you outside of who everybody needs you to be.

-30-

Leaning into a full declutter spiral and aggressively Marie Kondo-ing the house gives me the same dopamine hit as losing 10kg. Nothing resets my mental state faster than violently reorganising a drawer nobody will ever open while warning everyone in the house that if I find one more random charger cable in the kitchen junk drawer, I’m burning it.

-31-

I once thought adulthood would feel like finally having everything figured out. It turns out it’s mostly Googling things, carrying snacks and pretending you understand tax.

-32-

Learn how to do "man-jobs" yourself. I swear the feeling of hanging something yourself, perfectly, because you've mastered a power drill is wildly empowering. I'm like a monkey with a gun now.

-33-

Invest in great pillows and better shoes. After 20+ attempts here is the very best pillow I've ever bought. CLICK FOR GREAT SLEEP

-35-

Most of life is happening in the ordinary moments we are rushing through. These moments look insignificant while they’re happening, but one day they become the things you would do absolutely anything to experience again. I understand now why older people always tell us to slow down.

-36-

Men matter enormously. Good men change families, workplaces, communities and generations. I think we should champion these great men stepping confidently into leadership, fatherhood, guidance and protection again. The world desperately needs good men influencing culture.

-37-

We should be allowed to struggle more. My dad used to say it's “character building" when we were holding down out tents in the soaking thunderstorms while camping and he would be laughing far too much for my liking. He became the oldest man to complete the Robben Island crossing. Brutal and absolutely filled with struggle, but he did it anyway. That legacy lives on beyond him now because nobody can ever again say it can’t be done. Struggle is often the very thing that reveals what we are capable of.

-38-

I think we were meant to live more seasonally than we do. Modern life expects us to function at the same pace all year round, but nature doesn’t work like that. Winter asks for slower mornings, warmer homes, more rest and softer living, yet we keep pushing through as though nothing has changed. I think people would feel far less burnt out if we stopped resisting the seasons so much. Nature has got it all figured out.

-39-

Friendships matter more than we realise. In the thick of marriage, children and survival-mode years, friendships can unintentionally slip lower down the list. But watching my mother lose her life partner and survive largely through the strength of the friendships around her made me reprioritise. The women who arrived. The calls. The dinners. The presence. It made me realise friendships are not optional extras in a life well lived. They are part of the scaffolding.

-40-

I no longer think the goal is perfection. I think the goal is meaning. For a long time I think I confused success with achievement, aesthetics and having everything “together.” But the older I get, the more I realise perfection is exhausting because there is always another standard to reach. Meaning feels entirely different. Meaning is depth. Connection. Family dinners. Purposeful work. Friendship. Beauty. Contribution. Growth. It’s building a life that actually feels good to live inside, not just one that looks impressive from the outside.

Hunter & Snow is a return to something more personal, a slower, more considered way of creating and living. For years, my work was rooted in building brands. Understanding people, shaping ideas, and bringing vision to life. But over time, I found myself drawn back to something quieter.